Cofounder Mode

TL;DR

Hey, I’m Tim! ☕

Paul Graham’s new essay ‘Founder Mode’ took Silicon Valley (and beyond) by storm.

He says that conventional advice on scaling, like hiring good people and giving them autonomy, often fails and that founders need hands-on "founder mode.”

Who better to write about '“cofounder mode” than me? I’ll critique textbook wisdom about cofounder fit and offer you a more effective alternative as well.

Here’s the one thing to remember: free advice is often overpriced.

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Let’s get into it ⤵

DEEP DIVE

“No enemy is worse than bad advice.” — Sophocles, who probably got bad advice about drinking spoiled wine or whatever else the ancient Greeks did.

Cofounder Mode

One of the FAQs I get is what to look for in a cofounder. It never gets old because when I tell them what you’re about to read, you can literally see the lightbulb go off.

When you’ve asked that question, you’ve definitely been told to find somebody with complementary skills. Everybody has gotten that advice. It’s the go-to.

I’ve heard this mantra repeated at business schools, conferences, networking events, subreddits, and other online forums. Every time it’s echoed, the audience nods slowly in agreement, accepting it as gospel.

People love to share it because it makes them sound wise, it’s mostly undeniable, has decent practical value, and seems universal. It’s also not even necessarily wrong - just incomplete.

Yet 65% of startups die because of cofounder conflicts.

So what gives? Why is this well-intentioned advice causing more harm than good?

Timing.

There’s no shortage of resources for assessing cofounder fit at a snapshot in time. You’ll find endless questionnaires asking what you want to build now, what your skills and experiences are now, what your interests are now, what your vision and plan are now, and what your commitments are now.

But as a cofounder, your job could look pretty different next quarter.

The traditional advice works in the beginning. The honeymoon phase. Quick wins. There’s such a heavy emphasis on cofounder dating and not enough on cofoundership building.

When it doesn’t last, they chalk it up to something else entirely and forget about the complementary skills. It’s always about disagreeing on direction, lacking commitment, outgrowing each other or unrelated things like not achieving PMF or running out of runway.

It’s like playing poker: when you win, you credit your bluffing skills, but when you lose, you blame the dealer or bad luck.

What’s my advice instead?

TIM’S TAKE

Better advice would be to have complementary personalities and a shared sense of humor. Diverse skills (more accurately diverse potential for skills) come third.

The barometer for a solid cofoundership isn’t improvement. It’s shared experience.

To paraphrase David Whyte, it’s the privilege of being truly seen by someone and the equal privilege of seeing them in return, to have walked with them and to have believed in them, and sometimes just to have accompanied them for brief a span on a journey impossible to accomplish alone.

Some of my best memories with my cofounders include staying up until 5 a.m. pondering absurd questions about pineapples, scrambling to photocopy and cut flyers just before the library closed, and hiking to the top of Poo-Poo Point.

Because being a cofounder is hard.

And when you put it like that, being able to share a laugh at the absurdity of entrepreneurship seems to matter a hell of a lot more.

That’s what “cofounder mode” is all about: being present and enjoying the partnership, not just the product.

I guess the opposite of “cofounder mode” would be “recruiter mode,” where assessing current skillset is top priority. So if you find yourself doing that, take off your recruiter hat and put on your cofounder hat.

Obviously there’s still some truth in finding complementary skills, I’m not denying that. You’ll inevitably develop them along the way.

But cofoundership isn’t like adding a few drops of water from time to time until the bucket is full. It’s more like lighting a campfire. You need the initial spark but you also need to continuously fan the flames or else it’ll fizzle out.

I hope to see more longevity and thus greater success at scale as more cofounders adopt this mindset.

Related Resources

• Fun little exercise: are you lawful good or chaotic evil? What about your cofounder? Find the definitions here.

• Startups Gallery handpicks the most promising, early-stage companies every week. Maybe yours could be featured next.

• Tickets for Shitpitch events are still available but selling fast. Pitch or back a startup. I’ll be at the Dallas event on September 10.

• Check out Thentrepreneur for breakdowns from top startups and find out what’s trending with other founders at Foundcy.

LAST LOOK

Make sure your cofounder sees this — either pass it along or get them to subscribe. A solid relationship takes everyone's effort.

Looking for a cofounder coach? Hit reply.

PS: Good luck to those of you in the current YC batch on your upcoming Demo Day!

Tim He
Founder & CEO