Defining Terms, Defining Teams

TL;DR

Hey, I’m Tim! ☕

I’ve never been much of a numbers guy. The third time I took Intro to Calculus, I scored 42%. I hate calculating tips at restaurants and time zones are a nightmare.

But I’ve always had a way with words.

Recently, I’ve been thinking more about the nuances in how we define words. No surprise, these definitions can really influence your cofoundership.

And the best part — you don’t have to like Shakespeare to use words to your advantage.

DEEP DIVE

“Understanding, as we understand it, is misunderstanding.” — Elias Canetti, Nobel Prize winner in Literature and recipient of a dozen other prestigious literary awards.

Way With Words

Many of the greatest thinkers in history were obsessed with words.

• "All I need is a sheet of paper and something to write with, and then I can turn the world upside down." — Friedrich Nietzsche

• "By words we learn thoughts, and by thoughts we learn life." — Jean B. Girard

• "The limits of my language mean the limits of my world." — Ludwig Wittgenstein

• "Character is destiny, and words create character." — Heraclitus

Language provides the rails on which your thoughts ride. Anyone who spends sufficient time crafting words and defining them precisely ends up having a pretty accurate model of the world.

But many of you fail to use it properly.

Key Words

It’s important to define words in terms of _____. In other words, context. These are the top 3 words you should explore thoroughly with your cofounder.

1. Hard Work: What does the grind actually mean in terms of number of hours? Intensity? Consistency? Difficulty of task? Inputs and outcomes?

2. Trust: How does trusting each other in terms of competence differ from character? It lacks a measurement because it’s too subjective for metrics.

3. Fun: Do you define fun in terms of peace or pleasure? Humor and inside jokes? Playfulness and banter? Creativity? Achievement?

It’s no coincidence that hard work, trust, and fun are at the heart of a successful cofoundership — and a successful company.

Here’s a few curveballs to watch out as you define your words.

TIM’S TAKE

Semantic Drift

This is when the meaning of key words gradually change over time, often without you even noticing. Even if you and your cofounder initially aligned on the definition, the growth of your company can subtly shift how you each interpret it.

Let’s take “responsibility” as an example.

In the beginning, it’s easy to define. You’re both hands-on, either working together on everything or highly specializing. There’s no task too small. Founder mode.

But as your company grows, interpretations of responsibility can shift. One cofounder may see it as delegating tasks (i.e., “I’m responsible for ensuring this gets done, but I won’t be doing it myself”), while the other still views responsibility as being directly involved in completing the task.

In other words, responsibility is not just who does the thing but also who answers for it if things go wrong.

I’ve seen this a million times: one cofounders resents the other for “not pulling their weight” and the other gets defensive about it.

Use periodic check-ins to make sure your language remains aligned.

Hedging Language

In high-pressure, high-ambiguity situations (fundraising rounds, product pivots, major hires), the best cofounders I’ve worked with are extremely attuned to each other’s qualifying language, aka language that makes a statement less certain.

Would, could, should, might, maybe, perhaps, potentially, it seems like…

These small shifts signal deeper, often unspoken concerns that you’d be naive to overlook.

For example, there’s a big difference between “we could explore raising more capital next quarter” and “we should explore raising more capital next quarter.”

Regardless of whether raising money is the right call, picking up on this subtlety can prompt a deeper conversation about underlying reservations about dilution, valuation, or control.

Have a good read on your cofounder’s baseline.

A polygraph machine works by establishing a physiological baseline for a person's normal responses and then monitors any deviations to detect potential lies.

Cofounders should act as polygraphs for each other, not to catch lies but to sense when they’re feeling off about something so they can address it together.

As with all things, getting better with precisely defining words and noticing their nuances takes practice.

But if you think education is hard, try miscommunication.

Related Resources

• If misdefining your words has sparked conflict, try these four strategies to realign with your cofounder and get back on the same page.

• Searching for a cofounder? Check out StartHawk for an online platform and join LFC.DEV's in-person meet-ups in NYC for face-to-face connections.

• Can you believe you've read up to 20 Cherrytree editions? If you’ve missed any along the way, don’t worry — catch up in the archive!

LAST LOOK

Make sure your cofounder sees this — either pass it along or get them to subscribe. A solid relationship takes everyone's effort.

Looking for a cofounder coach? Hit reply.

PS: Thanks to all of you who’ve been sharing cofounder stories with me. Keep them coming, because the more we share, the more we all learn from each other’s journeys.

Tim He
Founder & CEO