- Cherrytree
- Posts
- The Trash Is Full
The Trash Is Full
1 sentence, 4 fights
Tim He
June 02, 2025
Forwarded this email? Subscribe for more.
Hey, I’m Tim! ☕
Every Mon and Fri, I help you become a top 1% cofounder.
Actionable advice: Practical tips you can start applying today.
Relatable stories: Real-life experiences from people just like you.
PS — If you really want to answer the unGoogleable questions, book time with me or join our cofounder community.
Read Between the Lines
You’re in the office kitchen. It’s been a long week.
Your cofounder walks in, stares at the overflowing trash can, and says…
“The trash is full.”
A normal human statement, right?
WRONG.
That sentence actually means 4 different things at once.
According to German psychologist Friedemann Schulz von Thun, every message you send has four layers:
What you’re saying
What it says about you
What it says about the other person
And what you want them to do
He calls this the Four-Sides Model, and once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
It’ll ruin your next cofounder conversation. Or save it.
Let’s break it down.
1. The Factual Side
What they said: The trash is full.
What they meant: The trash is full.
No drama, yet.
2. The Self-Revealing Side
What they said: The trash is full.
What they meant: I’m someone who notices things. Who cares. Who is carrying the emotional burden.
This is the cofounder version of “I guess I’ll just do everything myself…”
3. The Relational Side
What they said: The trash is full.
What they meant: You clearly saw it and didn’t do anything. Do you think I’m your mom?
This is when cofounder coaching should happen.
4. The Appeal Side
What they said: The trash is full.
What they meant: Take it out. Please. I’m asking nicely, but I’m dying inside.
In cofounder life, this happens constantly:
“Did you push the latest build?” might be:
Just a fact/question
I’m anxious because investors are watching
You always drop the ball
Please push it now
You might hear that sentence and only catch one of the layers. Your cofounder might be speaking from another.
And suddenly, you're not having the same conversation.
That’s why small comments spiral.
That’s why someone storms out over something “trivial.”
That’s why you keep replaying the conversation in your head, thinking: What just happened?
So what do you do with this?
Start by listening on all four channels.
Don’t just hear the words. Ask what they reveal, what they assume, what they’re asking.
And when you speak, say the part you usually leave unsaid.
“I’m saying this because I’m overwhelmed. I know you probably didn’t mean to ignore it. But I could really use your help.”
It sounds obvious. It feels awkward.
But it’s how you stop a trash can from becoming a blowup.
That’s all for now,
Tim He
BTW — The Cherrytree cofounder community is now open. Join here →
Work With Me
Coaching — Can be individual or as a cofounding team. Starts at 15-minute quick calls and can be ongoing multi-month engagements.
Workshops — Designed for accelerators, incubators, and venture studios. Learn the fundamentals of building a solid cofoundership from Day 1.
Legal Help — Get a $500 incorporation package or an all-inclusive fundraising prep package (includes data room audit), depending on your stage.
Case Study — A published breakdown of your cofoundership. Great for product launches, fundraising credibility, and even visa applications.
Speaking — Now booking engagements for 2025. Perfect for VCs, unis, and podcasts. Webinars and in-person available.
Our Sponsors
Cherrytree is free. Always has been, always will be. That’s all thanks to our amazing sponsors. Show them some love. ⤵️
StartEngine’s $30M Surge — Own a Piece Before June 26
StartEngine is the investing platform providing exposure to pre-IPO companies like OpenAI, Perplexity, and Databricks.
After doubling their revenues YoY in 2024 ($23M to $48M), StartEngine’s now tripled first quarter revenue YoY to a record $30M, based on its unaudited Q1 2025 financials. Now you can join 45K+ shareholders across all offerings before this round closes next month.
Reg A+ via StartEngine Crowdfunding, Inc. No BD/intermediary involved. Investment is speculative, illiquid & high risk. See OC and Risks on page.
Need a New HRIS/ATS Software? Help is on the Way!
You can now use SSR's free HR software matching service to find the perfect HRIS, ATS, and Payroll Software for your company.
SSR's HR software experts will tailor a vendor shortlist based on your unique needs. No fees, no commitments!