What Bread Has to Do With Your Cofoundership

INTRO

Hey, I’m Tim! ☕

The word "company" takes us back to a simple act: sharing bread.

From the Latin companionem, a mix of com ("with") and panis ("bread"), it evolved into compagnie in Old French. By the time it entered English, "company" meant a group bound by a shared purpose, often in business.

At its core, "company" means coming together, eg., “keeping you company.”

I think there’s so much more to explore here than interesting etymology. Back in those days, you wouldn’t share your bread with anyone you wouldn’t also starve with.

DEEP DIVE

“A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.” — John D. Rockefeller, who once controlled ~90% of US oil production.

Sam & Sadie

The book Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin is a story about two friends, Sam and Sadie, who become cofounders. Jenn Im puts it beautifully in her book review, so I won’t even try to paraphrase it better:

“It centers around two childhood best friends who build a company over their mutual love for video games, only to later realize that this company was something that they used to invest in their mutual love for one another.”

The ancient Greeks recognized various forms of love: romantic, familial, platonic, flirtatious, self-love, a love for the universe, and the practical love that develops over time in long-term partnerships.

A strong cofoundership is defined by a deep friendship and trust that’s built over time. But wait, what about the age-old advice to never start a business with your friends?

I strongly disagree.

Nearly all repeat founders suggest getting into business with someone you already know very well. Those who advise otherwise are fixated on the risks.

Come on — the risks?

That’s like telling a skydiver not to jump out of a plane because it's risky. You don’t start a company to avoid risks; you start one to turn those risks into rewards through skill.

How good of friends you were before you became cofounders isn’t something you can change. So, I think a much better piece of advice is as follows:

Never start a business with your friends. Always start a friendship with your business.

Here’s how.

Company Companions

This is a hard concept to teach because you can’t force it.

When I taught university students, I could assign them to groups, but I couldn’t make them become friends. Even when they chose their own teams, it didn’t guarantee friendships would form.

Yet, without exception, the highest-performing teams were those who were genuinely friends. Like Sam and Sadie, they used their business (and the class) as a foundation for building their friendship.

My cofounders and I did this, too, and it turned out to be the magic ingredient I struggled to articulate for so many years.

Don’t get me wrong, you can get away with a decent cofoundership. You can build a decent product, a decent team, and a decent company.

But not a great one.

If you want to build a great company, create an environment where you actually enjoy each other's company. This advice is probably only for you if you think you have a solid working relationship but want to become true friends.

You can’t manufacture authentic interest. Just as you can't make a teenager genuinely love a field by telling them to "be interested," you can’t force a friendship to happen.

You can’t choreograph a friendship but you can prompt it via mere exposure. “Have a stake” in the other aspects of each other’s lives outside the business. It’s in that space that real magic happens.

Ask about each other’s families, hobbies, interests, and curiosities outside of the company. Notice these threads. Then, pull on them. Pull a little bit on a lot of threads.

Because if you don’t, you’re coworkers at best. It’s too professional, formal, transactional. Stale, cold, bland — like old bread that wasn’t shared.

You see, sharing bread wasn’t just about survival. It was a ritual of connection.

Great companies are the result of great company.

LAST LOOK

If you want more personalized advice, book some time with me here.

Missed a Cherrytree edition? Grab a coffee and hit the archive to get all caught up.

Thanks!

Tim He